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Entry #3 - 09.Mar.2022 - "Hierarchy; Age 18-19"

My relationship with my first Master involved four people - Master J, his slave E, myself, and M who lived in America. M and I were 18, with only a month between us in age, and we met one another and Master J through a chatroom dedicated to the Tease and Denial fetish. Master J taught me the basics of hypnosis, and introduced us to his slave at the time, E, who was studying hypnosis for her MSc. In time, flirting grew into ownership. With Master J's blessing, E and I were permitted to meet in person to dominate one another, each of us looking for intense hedonistic experiences, as well as she and I trading skills in hypnosis and theatre respectively. E introduced me to Master J in person only a few weeks after our introduction. At the time, I called him my Master, but I think that word meant something slightly diluted to me at the time. After all, I was still holding on to my identity as a christian, and I was keenly aware of an inability to truly serve two Masters with such vastly...
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Entry #2 - 08.Mar.2022 - "A Dramatic Opening"

   Present sources of uncertainty are all around. I am not financially stable, although I have money put aside to rely on if things turn out badly. I do not know how to best approach my work as a playwright. I am not always sure of the best approach to bring stability to the mind of my own property... This is where I got to, before arriving home to a very emotionally unstable girl. And it's interesting that this is where I had left off, because when I arrived home, this is exactly what was tested in a very extreme way. ยต has COVID, and I was going to spend the week elsewhere. She was feeling abandoned, and although she was able to logically dismiss those thoughts, the feeling remained. She felt alone, and desperate, and in that desperation she impulsively took an overdose of her antidepressant medication. My trip to visit Master Jonathan was cancelled, and the decision was made that I would quarantine with her until both of us are testing negative for COVID. I think a lot of t...
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Entry #1 - 07.Mar.2022 - "An incomplete history"

The following was written yesterday, before arriving home. Since writing it, plans for this week have changed dramatically. ***  I'm writing this from the train. Tomorrow, I visit Master Jonathan for a "trial run" of service to him. I'm nervous, in a way that I haven't been since I was on my way to meet my first Master, eight years ago. But there's a complexity to my feelings that is new, and I hope to explain why, here. I have been involved in the M/s community, one way or another, since I turned 18. I first declared myself a slave when I was 18. I owned my first slave when I was 19, an arrangement that ended when she went home to America. My Master at the time was inattentive, and gradually stopped responding to my messages. Eventually, I was asked if I still felt owned, and I told him no. In the year that followed, I sought out intense experiences. I took long-distance slaves and submissives - and I submitted to others, although I found it difficult to reco...
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